What if it’s YOU who suck and not the millennials around you?

“Millennials are soooo hard to deal with.”

I consistently hear from business leaders, from teachers, from marketers and from coaches, “These millennials! They don’t seem to care. They are lazy. They want everything handed to them. Why won’t they do what I tell them? They are never going to make it.”

I am here to tell you: THIS IS WRONG. On so many levels.

Not sure you agree? Let’s unpack it.

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT BOOMERS?

Born 1945 to 1964 (80 million people)

Boomers were born to parents who had lived during a world war and the great depression. The boomers invented “the American Dream” and lived accordingly. They learned process and structure and hierarchy. They identified themselves by their work and their loyalty to the job. The working structure was built around time served, so they gave everything to their jobs. The boomers value “professional” appearance and “professional” values. The boomers have been taught to respect authority and they are finally in THE ultimate position of authority in most major businesses.

The boomers are great left brain thinkers and were great at building vast and far-reaching systems.

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT GENERATION X-ERS?

Born 1965 to 1980 (45 million people)

Xers were raised by divorced parents, or with both parents working. The Xers discovered (the hard way) that the American dream was a farce. They came home from school to an empty house and they learned to take care of their own needs. Since their parents were authoritarian, they became the ultimate rebels. The Xers resist everything. In the work place Xers respect ideas and values more than process and procedures. Many Xers make less money than their parents as adults. The Xers are a highly educated generation that valued college but it did not always pay off. Some Xers stayed rebellious and found their own path to success outside of the “system” and others decided that they needed to work within the system to rise up and they often resent that sacrifice.

Xers are rebels, yet they are adaptable and willing to learn new things as they go.

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT MILLENNIALS?

Born 1981 to 2006 (80 Million)

Millennials were raised in the age of technology by parents who were very encouraging and actively engaged. They were taught that they could do anything (the helicopter parent). Millennials value creativity, innovation, right brain thinking, and meaningful work. Millennials are motivated by being heard and understood for who they are and what they see and know. Millennials are incredibly hard working when they feel included in something that matters to them and matters to the good of humanity. Millennials don’t reject authority. They simply don’t see it. They understand and thrive in a flatter hierarchy. Millennials are awesome at connecting with people in an authentic way. They have incredibly well calibrated bullshit detectors and are hard to manipulate. They respond to authenticity, vulnerability and ideas that they feel matter to the broader public good. Millennials hate unnecessary debt and are doubtful that formal education is the answer.

THE TRANSITION ZONE

I see a clear pattern here.

The millennials are coming into the workforce, into the culture and into positions of influence everywhere and the Boomers and the Xers are pushing back (as each generation ALWAYS does) and telling each other (and the millennials) YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

This pattern of transition is as old as life itself. We resist the transition. We don’t like what comes next because we see our values becoming obsolete.

YET, the transition will come regardless.

What if WE, the entrepreneurs who value opportunity, regardless of our generation, were to develop a new rallying cry:

Millennials have so much to offer! let’s work with them and develop more of what is great about them!

Because the early adopters are going to win this game, without a doubt.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

We should learn to enhance all the things millennials do well and stop focusing on (and sometimes making up) what they do less well.

We should stop trying to mold the millennial generation to match the model of the Boomer and Xer generations in business, personal development, health care, entrepreneurship.

We should pay special attention to any opportunity or business that requires creativity, personal connection, innovation and people doing meaningful work because these are the spaces that will get the most by adapting to the Millennial mindset.

We should stop insisting we know the right way to do it and let the world’s generous and influential millennial generation step in and SHOW US their way.

MILLENNIAL MATH

The millennials are not coming to the marketplace. They are here. And there will be more here every day for some time.

The older millennials are in their 30s, have families and are building our future every day.

The young millennials are planning their futures right now and they are planning and dreaming of very different things than we ever dreamed of.

Millennials buy differently than the generations before them.

• Millennials spend $600 billion every year
• 55% will try a new brand based on a friend’s recommendation
• 39% think that brands that don’t advertise through mobile channels, smartphones, and tablets are outdated and undesirable

OBJECTION TIME

But Mary! What about the trophies just for participating? What about their overconfidence? What about the, gasp, ENTITLEMENT?

No.

We have to let go of these stereotypes. They are destructive and often unfounded. You would not want to be reduced to a stereotype of your generation would you?

When we focus on the stereotype of a millennial we miss the whole picture. That is like focusing on a hipster’s man bun instead of his patience, his tenacity (to grow that man bun AND matching beard), his innovative ideas, his capacity to lead others and his willingness to grow his own tea.

I have met a LOT of Boomers and Xers who represent plenty of elements of the stereotype of their generation. The bad taste in clothes (OMG, remember the 80’s), crappy manners, poor ability to listen or conjure empathy, overconfidence, and patronizing tendencies. Yeah. Those stereotypes.

So, all that stereotypical stuff about each generation? Yeah, those things can be annoying. All people are ALL annoying in some ways. But the better question is, what is working?

What is right with the millennial generation? Because when we focus on that, they flourish. We flourish. They achieve. We achieve.

The millennials can make awesome shit happen that we never even thought of or knew COULD happen.

A NEW MODEL

We (the Boomers and Xers who are “in charge”) need to stop telling the Millennials they have got it wrong and they need to do it our way. Because let’s face it, when it comes to business, our way ultimately has failed and continues to fail.

The second biggest population of spenders right now is – tada! – Millennials! Yes, Xers are in the top position right now but they are a small group and the Millennials are in the powerful pole position. We need to make things, make businesses and services and a CULTURE that honors and recognizes the millennial mindset. If we do it in a way that is patronizing and patriarchal, they will shrug and walk away.
We (non-millennials) are the ones who need to begin to adapt. Especially if we want to coach and train and help millennials in business. The early adopters are going to win this game (as they usually do). Why not adopt a millennial and learn how great they are?

I jest, but I mean it too.

IN A (HAND-CRAFTED ARTISINAL) NUT SHELL

• Millennials are amazing communicators. They connect authentically and are passionate about their topic.
• Millennials are hard working. They work at things they care about and work extra hard if you empower them to do it with autonomy rather than hover over them.
• Millennials are passionate and charismatic (especially to other millennials).
• Millennials are awesome at saving time and effort with technology.
• Millennials are problem solvers. They are not afraid of change. They are not afraid to sleep in their car, or in a tree, or on the beach.
• Millennials build community and powerful tribes in the same way they learned breathing and walking. It’s basic. They don’t know why YOU find it so hard.
• Millennials don’t care if you disapprove of them (seriously, stop wasting your energy).

The Boomer generation built big industry. But that industry was patriarchal, bigoted and self-serving. The Gen Xers tore it down every chance they got. Now the millennials are here to rebuild, in a new and better way.

Why are the millennials so great for our next big phase of growth? They care about diversity and individual rights. They care about what skills they can hone and demonstrate. They care about balance and fun as well as work, so they won’t destroy their lives with the chaos they create. They love technology and use it like other generations use sandwiches (i.e., a low-stakes, everyday thing that even a child can use). And above all, they are passionately committed to making awesome stuff.

If you teach, or coach, or make things, get over yourself. You need to change YOUR ways. Times have kept moving and it’s time for you to catch up!

If you catch yourself complaining about millennial culture or behavior, stop. Reassess. Figure out how they are DIFFERENT rather than wrong. 80 million millennials are taking over the power seat on this planet. Their influence and their money is not going to respond to being made wrong. Because the millennials are not wrong, just different.

Learn what millennials value and teach that! It will be better for your clients and you will do better in business yourself.

Hug a millennial today.

(PS. If you are a millennial, hug us back. We need more patience and acceptance too. But don’t let us push you around. You got this. And also, share this story so more people can start to wake up.)

DISCLOSURE: I am an Xer (born 1972). I work with Millennials every day and I have worked with them closely for over 10 years. I am married to a millennial. I have spent so much time with millennials that I have slowly come to understand that fighting them is a terrible strategy and that co-creating and working with them is a great way to get awesome stuff done. It was a painfully slow process and I hope you can be smarter about this than me, because the outcomes are amazing when you finally get there!