I’ve been thinking about leadership. How to recognize it. How to tap into it. How to follow. And who to look for.
I have been taught to look for the bold one. The bright ones. The big gestures. The amazing communicators. The ones who inspire you and impress you.
But what about the quiet one?
We all know someone who is an incredible leader — who we barely noticed at first.
The person who did not take the stage, or raise her hand first, or even volunteered right away.
But over time you notice a pattern about this unassuming person.
They show up.
They find problems.
They find solutions.
They find unusual solutions.
They work hard.
They give credit to others.
They ask questions.
They appear on the day when everyone else is too busy.
They listen deeply.
They think of people you have not thought of.
They think of problem and possibilities no one else thought of.
They take responsibility for themselves.
They accept responsibility for the hard project.
They share the credit with the team.
They hold space for others.
They play a long game.
They tell others how much they appreciate them and they mean it.
They eschew praise.
They co-create.
They build big things slowly and well.
They work in possibility.
They create a compelling vision quietly.
They serve without being asked.
They show up — over and over and over.
They are a powerful leader, a force to be reckoned with, and they do it differently.
We need more quiet leaders. Not because there is a right way to lead, but because we need leadership to reflect our culture and not be solely dominated by the big bold loud people.
I like to think about this in terms of YIN and YANG energy.
YANG energy is big. It is bold and strong and can stand amid all the noise and yell back — “YES! I count too! I am enough!” Yang energy creates big beautiful pictures and vision for others to see quickly and easily. Yang energy projects visible confidence and quick solutions. We have been taught to be impressed by yang energy.
YIN energy does not shout. Yin energy is also enough, but it expresses itself differently. Yin energy is intuitive, thoughtful, slower to respond and does not jump to conclusions. Yin energy is collaborative and curious. Yin is creative and diverse. The yin energy in that of healing and growth. The yin energy builds things that last for a long time. The yin energy is expansive and deep. Yin energy is quiet.
Our world tends to value and recognize YANG and not wait around long enough to see or respond to the YIN. We skew towards valuing the yang in leadership, in our decision making and in our role models. That is what we have been taught. Yang is all we take the time to look for.
Here’s the great thing. Everyone has BOTH yin and yang energy. However, many of us have learned to celebrate and promote our yang side while letting our yin side shrivel.
I do that. I tend to run pretty yang. Yang is how I learned to get things done. But what about my yin side? I have loads of yin and it is powerful. My yin energy is expressed as a compassionate mom and friend. My yin side loves to create things and think deeply. The yin me is more peaceful and more hopeful. I want more yin in my life. I want more yin role models in my life, showing me the way.
This conversation is so important right now. We need to support the people who can offer the skills and the ability to change the conversation. Our world is so chaotic. We are bombarded with competing values and groups competing for our attention, our endorsements, our resources and our agreement. We see this clamor of yang voices on social media, the news, in politics and in our jobs. We have been experiencing a shouting match of yang energies against each other.
We need the pendulum to swing and we need to recognize the value of the yin in all our work.
I see around me many people who exercise exceptional powerful YIN energy. I am interested in recognizing and promoting those people into positions show us the way. I want to make space for the powerful yin leaders who can help me find new paths and new solutions. I want to co-create and nurture. I value the quiet leaders.
