I have always hated meditating.
I KNOW it is one of those “magical” activities that is supposed to give me the ability to go all Neo and slip into the Matrix at will (yes, that was a The Matrix reference), or something much like that. Which sounds awesome. And useful. And utterly impossible.
I have tried to meditate many times and it is soul suckingly horrible and not at all like entering the Matrix.
Every time I meditate I feel like the world’s biggest loser. I can’t do two minutes without wishing for it to end. Meditating is an exercise in accepting…my suckiness at meditating. Which is not empowering, or fun, or remotely useful.
The ambitious parts of me go nuts when I meditate. My drive engine screams “STOP DOING THIS FUTILE ACTIVITY. You are the worst! Do something that makes you a more useful person rather than a less useful loser.”
So I stop.
But deep down I long to crack the code on meditation. There has to be a reason so many people find it awesome and useful.
I’m pretty sure if I could crack the code on meditation I would benefit, because frankly, I can be pretty tightly wound.
And then something amazeballs happened.
A month ago I cracked the code on meditation. There were two very important things that happened to make this shift possible.
1. I realized that sucking at meditating is a form of succeeding. I was listening to Jason Garner on a podcast (don’t remember which one) and he explained that when your brain constantly wanders during meditation that is THE WHOLE POINT. Especially when you are a beginner. Which I am.
Meditation guides always say “release your thoughts without judgement”. I haven’t learned that skill yet. I haven’t learned to feel nothing yet. That is the part that feels futile. So I have substituted a new feeling: celebration.
So now it goes like this:
My brain wanders. I notice. I force my attention back to my breath/body/present. That act is one rep, like one push up at the gym. That is one gold star! I love gold stars!
My refocus lasts .5 seconds. After another 10 seconds I notice my mind has wandered. I force my attention back to my body. Another rep. Another gold star!
My refocus lasts 1 second. I notice that my mind has wandered. I return my attention (haltingly and struggling) back to my body. ANOTHER REP. I am a ROCK STAR meditator! Three reps in one minute! I’m getting HUGE meditation muscles.
This shift has changed EVERYTHING for me. I dreaded meditating in the past because I felt so bad at it. Now I have found a place where learning doesn’t feel like failure. In fact, I feel kinda badass. So many reps each session! (And yes, eventually I will learn to not have judgement – its part of the process.)
2. Another meditation breakthrough came courtesy of Jesse Elder on Hal Elrod’s podcast. Jesse has a four part self-guided mediation that really resonates for me and gave me something to DO when I meditate.
I’ll break it down to the short version but you should really listen to the podcast to get the whole story directly from Jesse, who is pretty much a genius.
FOUR PART SELF DIRECTED MEDITATION
a) THE PRESENT: Get Inside Your Body Phase. Breathe. Be still. Do nothing. (Do the thing from part 1 above to make this fun.)
b) THE PAST: Active Appreciation Phase. Jesse has this cool thing about the difference between appreciation and gratitude which is utterly amazing but we don’t have time for now. You should listen to the episode. But regardless, the point is to actively appreciate the past day, week, month, years. Feel the deep wellspring of what is right with your world.
c) THE FUTURE: The Pre-pave Phase. In this part you get to play “what if” with your future. What if I got a raise? What if I got a new job? What if I got that new car? What if I lost 30 pounds? And here’s another trick, don’t only imagine having the new thing – also imagine yourself doing the work that will lead to that new thing. For example, I imagine myself going to the gym and working hard and really enjoying it. And then really enjoying my killer new body. You should imagine all this in all the sensory details you can muster. What does it look like, smell like, feel like, taste like? Be in the possible future and have a blast.
d) THE PRESENT: The Acceptance Phase. Now that you have pre-paved, you can accept the possibility field. Get back into the present and just BE again. Be in the possibility of you. Be in the possibility of coming up with a great new idea. You might even ask your inner-self a question before you begin. Be ready for peace, calm and new actions to leap to mind. Luxuriate in the possibility field you have created.
This sequence can be done in five minutes, thirty minutes or an hour. It’s your call.
I set a gentle timer on my phone (I use calm) and I step through each phase. Sometimes I run out of time and just keep going after the timer goes off. I assure you,THAT has never happened to me before this meditation. In the past I was always so relieved when it was over. Now the time just flies by.
What does this have to do with stories?
I’m not sure, but I have some ideas.
a) I do know that meditation is meant to make you better at pretty much anything. I’m only one month into my daily meditation practice and I have notice that I am more focused and more productive.
b) I think meditation has A LOT to do with our ability to write our own story.
If you don’t like your story, you can change it. Be something new. Write something new. You can even rewrite chapters from the past. Meditation is an invaluable tool in that process.
So, rock on story warriors. Consider adding meditation to your storytelling arsenal.
